Advent Waiting

The following is an Advent Reflection written by Christina Cunha, one of this year's Little Village House Volunteers.

Waiting, as described in the dictionary is: the action of staying where one is and delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens.  When I think of the word waiting, I think of several images, such as times when I've waited at CTA for the next train.  I think of all the times I've waited for the ball to drop and counted down to midnight on New Year’s Eve.  I think of sitting at the dinner table as a child, waiting until my mom would finally say that dinner was ready.  In all of these incidences of waiting, I think of myself watching time pass by—and as the dictionary describes, staying where I am until something else happens.  Jesus however, asks that this Advent, we do not just sit by in a passive way and wait for His birth, but rather that we wait in action.

As German theologian Christoph Blumhardt states: “Here Jesus is speaking of his disciples and the preparation of His coming.  There must be people who stand by the door and listen for him and who open it quickly when he knocks.  Workers, not slackers are dressed for service…God has work that has to be done in work clothes, not in one’s Sunday best.  As long as God’s kingdom has to be fought for, it is more important to be dressed for work-ready action.”  As I think about waiting in this sense, as someone who is trying to work toward the kingdom, I must think of not just waiting, but waiting in action.  How am I actively waiting this Advent, and for the coming of God? This kind of active waiting seems like a contradiction at first, especially if I think of waiting as just killing time.  But God has challenged us to fight for the coming of the kingdom while we are at the same time, waiting for the coming.

I think that while volunteering with Amate this year, I have realized that I am part of this plan as I attempt to be in work-ready clothes rather than my Sunday best.  I think that one way that I have tried to be dressed ready for action is by being open to the challenges my job brings and being open to growth.  I teach 9th-12th graders at Perspectives Leadership Academy, which is a charter school that has a model of living a disciplined life.  Our school aims to develop future leaders in our society, prepare students effectively for college, and focus on 26 principles that fall under the categories of self-perception, relationships and productivity.  I am a proud staff member of my school and the Perspectives Charter network, which as a whole has doubled the graduation rate for neighborhood students in Auburn Gresham in just four years.  I teach a phonics intervention course to thirty eight students in five different classes every day. All of my students read below their grade level, and have decoding difficulties, where they have trouble breaking apart and sounding out words they have never seen before.  This intervention course is designed to improve their reading accuracy and fluency as well as instill a greater sense of confidence when reading.

When Christoph describes being in work clothes rather than our Sunday best, I think he is also speaking a lot to our comfort level.  For me, being in work clothes means being uncomfortable so that I am learning, being challenged, and growing.  This has certainly been the case while teaching at Perspectives, as I feel that although I am teaching high schoolers knowledge, I have learned and been opened to so many new ways of thinking which has challenged my faith in a very positive way.  I think of one of my students, who is in 12th grade and who has told me that she has to always guess at words when she is reading.  She is often confused, and tells me that it’s easier to usually just give up or have someone else read to her.  I think of another boy Damien, who has a stutter on his vowels when he reads aloud.  I know that throughout his schooling, reading aloud has always been a point of humiliation and shame.  These are just two of my thirty eight students who have trusted me to help them become better readers.  Several of my students feel embarrassed that their reading level is so low, so I have the challenge of encouraging and supporting them, through learning something that I took for granted as a child.

There are times when I feel incompetent as a teacher, wondering how so much faith can be put into my abilities.  I have so many moments where I feel uncomfortable, wondering if I am saying the right thing when they ask for advice or my opinion, or wondering if how I am teaching is effective.  I think that because of my doubts and uncertainties in this position, I am taking on the role of active watching, listening, and refining, especially as I’m trying to learn tools to be an effective teacher and role-model.

In a prayer dedicated to Archbishop Oscar Romero, Bishop Ken Untener beautifully captures how we can actively wait for God’s coming while working for the kingdom. He states:

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of
liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning,
a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's
grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the
difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders, ministers, not
messiahs. We are prophets of a future not our own.

I believe that as a teacher in Amate this year, I am part of the plan—part of the active waiting for the kingdom.  I may never see my students again after this year.  I may never see how my class has impacted them.  I may have said something this year that sticks with a student long beyond high school.  If a student is having a bad day, a smile may have a bigger impact than I would ever realize.  Even a simple “how are you”may show a student that I care about their well-being and success.  So as someone who is actively waiting, I should always be alert, just as the disciples were waiting by the door for Jesus to knock.  I don’t have all the answers, but I know that if I concentrate on my teaching abilities and use my gifts and talents that I have been given, I can let grace enter and trust God to do the rest.

Christina shared this reflection as part of her community's Las Posadas Advent program this December.