Uprooted

The following is a reflection written by Mary Kate O'Connell, one of our second year Volunteers.

I’m currently in my second year with Amate House. This year I live in South House and serve at Heartland Alliance’s Youth and Residential Services where I work with unaccompanied minors who have traveled up from Central America to be reunited with their loved ones in the United States. This is not a far cry from my position last year – I worked to welcome newly arriving refugees into the United States with the Christian organization Exodus World Service. Through my experiences in working with both of these organizations and in my time at Amate House, I’ve realized the importance of finding a safe place to call home. I’ve worked with strong, resilient families that have decided to uproot themselves for the sake of safety in order to build a new life in a foreign country; I currently work with children that make the harrowing, dangerous journey alone to the US-Mexico border to be reunited with their mothers that they haven’t seen in 10 years or an uncle that they've only ​met in person​ once or twice; and, personally, I've created two homes, two families, with Amate House here in Chicago – not exactly a stone’s throw away from my home in New Jersey.

I’ve become passionate about the marginalization of immigrant populations because I’ve seen it firsthand through the work that Amate has allowed me to do. During my time at Exodus, I learned how to facilitate an interactive simulation that gives a brief insight into the journey that some refugees face while leaving their home countries. Every group that I led through this simulation seemed to come away from it with a connection to the population and an understanding of how it feels to be uprooted, even if it is just for a short time. I asked the staff if I would be able to facilitate this simulation for my fellow Amate volunteers as a community night, and, because they’re so wonderful and open, they agreed.

I was always very comfortable giving presentations when I worked with Exodus. There was something exciting about telling people information that is completely new to them – I visited middle schools, high schools, colleges, even adult church groups and I was met with the same curiosity in all of these settings. However, there is something different about getting up in front of a group of 28 people that you know – that are your friends. Amate House has several sites that allow volunteers to work with refugees or asylum seekers specifically; there are even more sites that serve immigrants who have similarly dreadful journeys. So how was I supposed to take what I know and present it sensitively to people that might have already heard a client recount their story? On the other hand, there are some Amate volunteers that don’t work with refugees or immigrants at all and never will in their placement this year. How was I supposed to make this valuable for them?

So I decided to approach the facilitation of this community night with a more personal spin on things. I went through all the steps of the simulation as normal, but after each step I tried to tell a personal connection that I had to it. There is a section of the presentation that puts the participants in an enclosed, dark, uncomfortable space without letting them out and without giving them any idea of how long they would be in there. After I would perform this step last year, I would sit the group down and talk about how Iraqi refugees are typically kidnapped; this time I talked about how I met an Iraqi man that had been kidnapped for 3 months. His wife told me that she had no idea where he was and she thought he had been killed. It wasn’t until he finally escaped and was forced to live in house with dozens of other people – he, his wife, and his 2 young children had to sleep on a floor for weeks with minimal food and no place to bathe – that he decided to flee his country. In my work this year, I have met Central American girls that have been kidnapped and labor trafficked for months while trying to get across the border into the United States. They are kept against their will in warehouses, often facing repeated sexual assault, and are never told how long they will have to wait, why they are waiting, or when this type of torture would be over – when they would get to see their moms and dads.

Taking this very personal approach to a simulation that I’ve done many times made me feel extremely vulnerable – talking frankly, openly, and sincerely about something that you care about is a very nerve-wracking thing. What if they don’t connect with it at all? What if they think it’s a waste of time? What if they just stare at me blankly while I’m spilling my guts on the floor? Every other time I gave this presentation, I was not worried about these questions. Because every answer was, “Well, it’ll be okay, because I’ll never have to see these people again.” A college volunteer group doesn’t connect to the simulation? Fine. I can just go home and that’ll be that. A ministry group thinks it’s a waste of time? That’s okay. I tried my best. A college class stares at me blankly when I ask if there are any questions? No big deal. I am certainly not the first person to experience this. Not the end of the world. But facilitating this simulation to a group of people that I know personally was so different. I do have to see these people again, I even have to drive home with some of them! There are few things more heart-breaking than the people you care about being indifferent towards the things you care about.

But, of course, this did not happen. While it would have been crushing to watch my friends stare at me blankly while I tried to convey to them how much I care about this subject, it was an entirely different thing to watch them evolve into caring about it too. Watching the other volunteers be concerned about this topic was a huge source of pride for me. It’s not often that people are put into this situation – being able to unabashedly lay your biggest passions on the line and say, “well, this is it, this is what I care about. I hope you care about it too.” And it is even rarer to have your peers pick up those things and run with them. There were no moments of blank stares or awkward silences while I waited for people to give feedback or ask questions. The other volunteers were quick to jump in when I asked them how they felt about a certain part of the simulation and actively listened when I shared experiences from my own work with immigrant populations. Several people came up to me afterwards with positive feedback, saying it was the best community night so far. Facilitating this activity was a great experience for me and I’m lucky that I was able to do it.

Opening yourself up and being vulnerable is extremely frightening – almost paralyzing. However, giving this presentation to the other Amate House volunteers taught me that the payoff is worth the risk involved.