The current of ongoing change that has been propelling our lives since arriving in Chicago just over three months ago took a refreshing detour on October 19th as all three houses loaded up their trusty Amate House vehicles and sojourned forth to Watervliet, MI for three days of spiritual exploration, community development, and fellowship. Such a break was well needed from the grind and beautiful chaos that is our new lives in the Windy City. Having personally grown up in a small rural town in Western New York, I was beginning to long for the rolling fields, quiet starry nights, and humble farmhouses that defined my childhood.I received all that and more as our Amate caravan rolled up the long gravel driveway to the dining hall of Ronora Lodge. The clear and fresh air that entered my lungs as I pulled myself out of the car served not only to remind me of my upbringing but also to bring me back to Christ and make me all the more grateful for the opportunities and experiences that I have been afforded this year. There is always some element of nature that succeeds in reeling us in and placing us fully in the presence of God and all the gifts and graces He has placed upon us.
The next 36 hours were jam packed with so many amazing talks, activities, and interactions that would unfortunately take me six pages single spaced to delineate in full, so I will zoom in on a few of the highlights:
Saturday morning the North House community got our first full day of retreat off to an optimistic and hopeful start with a silent affirmation exercise. In this activity the group stood in a circle with their backs to the center. A handful of people would be selected at a time to enter the center, and, while a plethora of positive and affirming attributes were read by one of the leaders, they would quietly tap the shoulders of all the people in the circle who they believed to exemplify those qualities. The element of silence in this exercise was a powerful assurance to all those being tapped that they are individuals of value and worth. It does not matter who it is that thinks so; the point is that there is someone out there who believes in you for one reason or another. In our challenging and fast paced lives as volunteers we at times lose site of the aspects of ourselves that make us a person worth knowing and respecting. We tend to forget about the gifts that we have to offer our community and the world around us. Though small and silent, these gestures of praise are meaningful and this affirmation circle was a great tool for preparing us for our next group discussion which centered on the theme of trust.Throughout the rest of the day we engaged in a trust partner exercise, a trust continuum activity, and had several hours of free time in which there were so many options for things to do. We were fortunate enough to have a beautiful lake available to us just a short walk down the hill from our living quarters. Many of us took advantage of admiring it while having thoughtful conversations with new and old friends. Others utilized the extensive library of spiritual and social justice themed texts that our loving house coordinators were gracious enough to bring for us to enjoy. I myself began to page through a book of prayers and reflections by the influential Salvadoran priest, Oscar Romero. Others chose to use this silence to catch up on journaling, or another hard to find necessity…sleep!
The day ended Saturday night when we all gathered in an open field for a bonfire accompanied by s’mores and Ryan’s gift of song. For several hours we opened our hearts and minds to the beautiful gift of nature that we have missed out on since coming to the city. The skies, though cloudy, still shone with stars and several constellations were recognized. We all rallied around Ryan as he serenaded us with everything from The Beatles to Mumford and Sons. There couldn’t have been a more fitting way to wrap up a weekend of prayer, new friendships, and community. Even as the fire burnt to its last ember we were all warm with love and the promise of good things to come the rest of the year.As we packed up our vehicles once again on Sunday after mass I thought back on the discussions and group talks we had over the weekend and one element that came to mind was that of trust. I have been slow to trust most of my life and still am, but North House’s activity and the partner exercise helped me to recognize its importance and how fruitful it could be to take a risk for its sake. We all had to trust in ourselves and God when we chose to do what many of our friends and family back home scoffed at; a year of volunteer service. So far we have been guided rightly and all that is left now is to begin to place that trust in those we live with. Having faith that one’s intentions are pure is a scary thing but what is even scarier is not trying and never knowing. The union of nature and prayer this week managed to put into perspective all that we had been through together and the roads that were still left unexplored. Now is the time for me and my fellow volunteers to give ourselves to this year and to each other. This is the point in our lives where the objective is not to hide from being hurt but to be pained by not having been. There are so many beautiful things yet to be experienced.
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